It’s the holiday season and we are approaching the birthdays of both my grandmother and grandfather who both passed away. This will be the second year without my grandmother and the third without my grandfather. It doesn’t get easier.
The holidays, for me just brings a different element of sadness to it. Because my family is small in numbers we’d always get together for Christmas. I remember, as a child, my grandparents would be at our house toys in tow and open arms for their only grandchild( on my mother’s side). Yes, I was spoiled (lol). My high school graduation, my grandfather barbecued some ribs and my grandmother was always imparting little nuggets of wisdom and sliding me money on the low. Its the memories I have that keep me from going under; the memories and the faith. ( God will never put more on your than you can bear)
I’ve lost a grandmother and a grandfather, but my mother lost both her parents. I cannot begin to comprehend the kind of strength it takes to keep pushing, to keep your head up and smile, while being so heavy from such significant losses. But she does it everyday, with grace. When she thinks I’m not looking or paying attention, I see her eyes get misty during a memory we both share regarding one of them. My mom is strong, no doubt about it. But ever so often I see a crack in her armor, and I wanna tell her its okay. You don’t have to be strong for me, let me take some of this off your shoulders and carry it while you rest. I’ll then give it to God ( who is our burden bearer) so we both are able to get a little relief.
I think it’s important to remember those who are grieving not just around the holidays but always because it is something that we cannot escape no matter how long it’s been since we have been without our loved one.
The thing about grief is you HAVE to LIVE through it. It’s the only way to heal. It’s not something you get over, but (sorry to be redundant) You LIVE THROUGH IT! When I tell you it comes in waves, it’s not an understatement. I have been driving and I just start sobbing uncontrollably. A wash of sadness covers me and once the tears stop, it’s over. Not the grief but the moment. It’s best to have people around you that really know you just in case a wave comes that is so powerful it tries to take you under. Your person will be there holding on to you to keep you afloat. I’m may not be your person but if you ever wanna talk.
Until Next Time,
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